Friday, October 23, 2015

The Solar Tsunami Headed Toward Earth What NASA Isn’t Saying

From Astronomy Daily:

Hold onto your Ass-teroids folks.

While NASA was trying to get our attention by telling us a Solar Tsunami is nothing to worry about and would only be responsible for bringing the Aurora Borealis further south for viewing, the very fact that the term tsunami was being used should have tipped us off that this was no ordinary magnetic field headed our way. We saw the effects of the tsunami that hit Indonesia and it was not all pink and green ribbons of light. It was death and destruction. If you’re going to use a word like tsunami, you better be ready to back it up with facts, which NASA unfortunately could not.

A tip off that something bigger than just a pretty light show in the night sky is that NASA is putting off repairs of the space station until Friday. Hmmm, wonder why? Is that a wait-and-see attitude? Why spend the money on the space station if there was a chance of it being obliterated Wednesday morning? Hmmm? Just a hunch.

All NASA would say is that a larger than normal solar flare was spotted on the surface of the Sun and it was headed toward Earth and was expected to reach us by early in the morning on August 4th. If you are one of those people who wait until the Vernal Equinox in spring to stand an egg on its head, then you were probably that much more interested in this event.

Just what the flare would produce, remained a mystery. The most anyone could say is that it would produce green and pink ribbons across the sky and be visible to anyone living in the northernmost part of the country as long as they aren’t in a highly-lit area. However, if you’ve been fortunate enough to see NASA’s photographs of the flare, what it looked like was a giant fiery door that was headed our way, and our imagination tells us that anything or anyone that may have passed through it, if they did not get burned beyond recognition, would have witnessed one of the most amazing things in their lifetime, that and your cell phones and iPods and other electronic devices were expected to be on the blink temporarily as the doorway reached our atmosphere.

So, whether you were bold enough to stand outdoors in the wee hours of the morning of August 4th hoping to catch a glimpse of this solar tsunami, or you decided to cower under your bed and hope to hell our imaginations were wrong, either way, it came and went, and there’s really nothing anyone can do about it now. But we are still scratching our heads and saying “what if?”

Next week, we’ll discuss that errant asteroid that’s been headed our way for decades.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Donald Trump: Kim Jong Un Would Make Awesome Vice President

...that little guy scares the crap outta me, and that's the kind of guy we need

Speaking on Meet the Press this morning, the Donald was again in rare form as he used his particular brand of "shock politics" to keep his lead in the race for the GOP nomination for President.

When pressed on his comments as to whom he would choose as his running mate, he confirmed that he wouldn't rule out former pro wrestler and Minnesota Governor, Jesse Ventura, or television mogul, Oprah Winfrey, if either of them took him up on his deal.

"Hell, ideally, I'd love to ask N. Korea leader Kim Jong Un to run alongside me, but there are rules in place, and I guess, rightfully so, that say anyone running for the two top spots in the country have to be from this country.

"Fair enough," said Trump, "but ideally, yeah, I think Kim has the kahoonies to be a great Vice President. He sure as hell wouldn't take any lip from anyone, except me of course because I'd be his boss, but if  you ask me straight up, that little guy scares the crap outta me, and that's the kind of guy we need in the 2nd highest office in the country."

Asked, then, if he scared the crap out of himself, Trump looked a bit bewildered and said "Well, no,
Chuck, I don't scare the crap out of myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm scaring the crap out of all those guys, oh, and one gal, excuse me, who are running against me in this election."

Trump then went on to talk about race in this country.

"Let's talk about getting this country back, ok? Like for instance, just say, for the sake of argument, I was born in Hell's Kitchen, which I might have been, but for the sake of argument, I was born in Hell's Kitchen. I think that's enough to get the black vote don't you think?"

To which Chuck Todd replied, "Well, I'm pretty sure you weren't born in Hell's Kitchen, Mr. Trump."

Trump then replied, "but if I was born in Kenya…" and trailed off.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

God Bless My Barbeque

Ed Note: I salute the flag, but more importantly, I salute the men and the occasional woman, who have gone to great lengths to make the BBQ grill their blackened idol... this can be sung to America the Beautiful or said as a solemn prayer, your choice. 

(Sung to God Bless America)

God bless my barbeque
Smoke pit and all

I will cherish
And care for it

Through the summer
And into the fall,

From a brisket
to a weiner

To the primest
cut of meat,

God bless my barbeque
It can't be beat

God bless my barbeque
Now let's go eat.